Train Yourself through Communications Simplified: Grooming Capsule

DAY 16

SKILL CAPSULE: TEAM BUILDING

The roles people play in meetings.

There are a number of different roles that people adopt in meetings, some of which are listed below. These roles are not always constant - one person might adopt several of these roles during one meeting or change roles depending on what is being discussed. Your score for each category should give you some idea of which of these roles you play in teams.

ENCOURAGER

Energizes groups when motivation is low through humor or through being enthusiastic. They are positive individuals who support and praise other group members. They don't like sitting around. They like to move things along by suggesting ideas, by clarifying the ideas of others and by confronting problems. They may use humor to break tensions in the group.

They may say:
"We CAN do this!"
"That's a great idea!"

COMPROMISER

Tries to maintain harmony among the team members. They are sociable, interested in others and will introduce people, draw them out and make them feel comfortable. They may be willing to change their own views to get a group decision. They work well with different people and can be depended on to promote a positive atmosphere, helping the team to gel. They pull people and tasks together thereby developing rapport. They are tolerant individuals and good listeners who will listen carefully to the views of other group members. They are good judges of people, diplomatic and sensitive to the feelings of others and not seen as a threat. They are able to recognize and resolve differences of opinion and the the development of conflict, they enable "difficult" team-members to contribute positively.

They may say:
"We haven't heard from Mike yet: I'd like to hear what you think about this."
"I'm not sure I agree. What are your reasons for saying that?"

LEADER

Good leaders direct the sequence of steps the group takes and keep the group "on-track". They are good at controlling people and events and coordinating resources. They have the energy, determination and initiative to overcome obstacles and bring competitive drive to the team. They give shape to the team effort. They recognise the skills of each individual and how they can be used. Leaders are outgoing individuals who have to be careful not to be domineering. They can sometimes steamroller the team but get results quickly. They may become impatient with complacency and lack of progress and may sometimes overreact.

They may say
"Let's come back to this later if we have time."
"We need to move on to the next step."
"Sue, what do you think about this idea?"

SUMMARISER/CLARIFIER

Calm, reflective individuals who summarise the group's discussion and conclusions. They clarify group objectives and elaborate on the ideas of others. They may go into detail about how the group's plans would work and tie up loose ends. They are good mediators and seek consensus.

They may say:
"So here's what we've decided so far"
"I think you're right, but we could also add ...."

IDEAS PERSON

The ideas person suggests new ideas to solve group problems or suggests new ways for the group to organize the task. They dislike orthodoxy and are not too concerned with practicalities. They provide suggestions and proposals that are often original and radical. They are more concerned with the big picture than with details. They may get bored after the initial impetus wears off.

EVALUATOR

Evaluators help the group to avoid coming to agreement too quickly. They tend to be slow in coming to a decision because of a need to think things over. They are the logical, analytical, objective people in the team and offer measured, dispassionate critical analysis. They contribute at times of crucial decision making because they are capable of evaluating competing proposals. They may suggest alternative ideas.

They may say:
"What other possibilities are there?"
or "Let's try to look at this another way."
or "I'm not sure we're on the right track."

RECORDER

The recorder keeps the group focused and organized. They make sure that everyone is helping with the project. They are usually the first person to offer to take notes to keep a record of ideas and decisions. They also like to act as time-keeper, to allocate times to specific tasks and remind the team to keep to them, or act as a spokesperson, to deliver the ideas and findings of the group. They may check that all members understand and agree on plans and actions and know their roles and responsibilities. They act as the memory of the group.

They may say:
"We only have five minutes left, so we need to come to agreement now!"
"Do we all understand this chart?"
"Are we all in agreement on this?"

· Take Responsibility

· Let your Work Speak for itself

· Know your Team Members

· Always Compartmentalize

· Be a Motivator

· Appreciate Others

· Avoid Politics

· Ask for Feedback

· Develop a Sense of Humor

· Be there for your team members when they need you.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Prepare a lecture and deliver to class

DAY 17

SKILL CAPSULE: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

“The capacity for recognizing our own feeling and those for others, for motivating ourselves, for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” - Daniel Goleman

EL Competencies

· Self awareness

· Self management

· ‘social awareness’

· Relationship management

EXAMPLES

Ø Understanding problems of workers whose houses were washed away during floods.

Ø Understanding the thought process of a union leader who has come to you for negotiations i.e., his need to balance the interests of workers with the need to come to a reasonable, viable, sustainable settlement.

o army example : an newly commissioned officer…when he joins his first regiment he has to live with his troops and not in the officer’s mess and has to do the job of the lowest soldier, sweeper or gunner for 3 days and work his way up to an officer rank, having done the job of each higher appointment.

Ø By doing this he understands the implications of the orders he passes on each of his sub ordinates.

1. Develop Your Emotional Self-Awareness

One of the best ways to develop your awareness of your own emotions is to meditate. Take some time out to relax, being aware of your breathing as it flows in and out. Observe your thoughts and feelings as they come and go, without judging them. This will give you a degree of detachment, as you realise you are more than whatever thoughts and emotions you are experiencing at the time.

Another good way to become more aware and accepting of your emotions is to keep an emotional journal. Just take five minutes each morning to write down how you're feeling. Writing things down in this way gives you a degree of detachment and allows you to express your feelings in a way which is safe. It also allows you to recognise recurring patterns in your emotional responses and gives you a record of how far you have come as you develop your emotional intelligence.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Actions and Feelings

Often we talk about emotions as if they just 'happen', or that other people create them in us, as in 'she made me angry' or 'he upset me'. Some people even seem to have inanimate objects controlling their emotions, as in 'that squeaky gate is really pissing me off!'

So, can other people or even lumps of metal really control your emotions, causing your brain to release exactly the right combination of neuropeptides to experience irritation, fear or guilt? I would suggest not.

All the information we receive from our five senses about what's happening around us is already filtered by the time we become aware of it - first by the limbic system, our primitive emotional brain, and then by our beliefs and the meanings which we put on these events.

The emotional response to the meaning which we place on any given event can happen so quickly that we aren't aware of our filtering process and assigning of meaning which happens in the gap between the triggering event and the response. It feels like the 'trigger' really does cause the emotional response.

However, if that were really the case, then everyone would react in exactly the same way in similar situations - which clearly they don't. One person might get angry, another might get frightened, another find it funny, and another might not even notice.

Here's the thing: in principle, you can change any of your mental filters and emotional responses. This means that you can take "response - ability" - the ability to be able to choose how you want to feel about anything that happens. How? NLP and other technologies for rapid change have a wealth of techniques for helping you to change even the deepest-rooted habitual responses.

3. Remember - You Are Not Your Emotions

There are no "bad" emotions. Whatever you feel is giving you valuable information: either about the situation that you're in, or about some event that's happened in the past that you need to learn from and move on.

A trap that people often fall into is feeling that they 'ought' to feel a certain way - that they are a 'bad person' for feeling emotions they have been brought up to believe are wrong to express or even to feel. If they are on a spiritual path, it can be even worse, as they may feel they 'ought' to be above feeling that way.

Remember, it's how you respond to those feelings that matters. Whatever emotion you're feeling, you still have a choice about how you act on it - and that's what counts. Judging yourself does not make you a better person.

4. Put Yourself In The Other Person's Shoes

Any time that you're dealing with another person - on a date, in a job interview, in a dispute, selling to them, working with them, or just hanging out - things will go more smoothly if from time to time you put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, "What's going on for this person right now? What's important to them? What do they want from this interchange? What might they be feeling?"

Everyone sees the world in different ways, and everything that person does and says makes sense from their viewpoint, even if it makes no sense to you. People make the best choices they can given their unique 'map' of the world - if you assume they have the same map as you, then some of those 'actions' might even seem stupid or malicious. If you get a sense of what's going on for them, you will find them much easier to communicate with.

5. Get Some Distance From The Bad Stuff

I once had a client who came to me for help with anxiety about speaking in public. Every time this person had to give a presentation at work, he found himself experiencing panic symptoms which got stronger as the day approached. He had always got through to the end of the presentation without major disasters, but he hated the experience while it was happening.

With some coaching, he was able to check for things that might go wrong in a less damaging way. By viewing each scenario as a detached observer, in black and white and as a smaller-than-lifesize picture, he was able to see his future self coping with various possible glitches, without having to become emotionally involved in what he was seeing. I also suggested that he finish off by seeing himself in a life-size, colourful picture, giving a perfect presentation, so that he ended his reverie feeling good. He was then able to approach his presentations in a much more resourceful emotional state, and consequently perform much better.

Often the way we feel is a response to 'movies' that our minds run, or to an internal critical voice. While the mind's intention in creating these thoughts and images is positive, the effect is often unhelpful.

The qualities of the pictures, and the volume and tone of internal dialogue, are what give these thoughts their power. A big, bright, moving, 3-D mental picture, especially if we see it as if through our own eyes, will be more affecting than a small, dim, monochrome, 2-D snapshot, whatever the actual content of the picture. Similarly, a loud inner voice with an edge to it will have more of an impact than a softly-spoken voice, whatever it's saying.

You can use your mental 'remote control' to alter the qualities of your mental pictures. Make your good memories and fantasies big, bright, moving and 'real' so you can enjoy the most intense positive feelings from them. If you have to look at bad memories or imagine an unpleasant experience, make the picture small, dim, monochrome and two-dimensional, and look at it as if you were a detached observer. That way you can still get whatever information you need, while minimizing uncomfortable emotional responses.

Emotional Intelligence Map

Self-Awareness Empathy

Emotional Awareness Understand Others

Accurate Self-Assessment Developing Others

Self-Confidence Service Orientation

Self Management Leveraging Diversity

Self Control Political Awareness

Trustworthiness Social Skills

Conscientiousness Influence

Adaptability Communication

Innovation Conflict Management

Motivation Leadership

Achievement Drive Change Catalyst

Commitment Building Bonds

Initiative Collaboration & Cooperation

Optimism Team Capabilities

How to Increase Your EQ

Ø Conduct a “personal inventory.”

Ø Analyze the setting & identify skills needed.

Ø Enlist trusted friends.

Ø Focus on a few competencies.

Ø Practice, practice, practice.

Ø Be observant and reflective.

Ø Don’t expect immediate results.

Ø Learn from your mistakes.

Ø Acknowledge your successes.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Motivational Lecture

DAY 18

SKILL CAPSULE: ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger management is a term used to describe the skills you need to recognize that you, or someone else, is becoming angry and take appropriate action to deal with the situation in a positive way.

Anger management does not mean internalizing or suppressing anger.

Anger is a perfectly normal human emotion and, when dealt with appropriately, can even be considered a healthy emotion. We all feel angry from time to time, yet this feeling can lead us to say or do things that we later regret. Anger can reduce our inhibitions and make us act inappropriately.

Anger management concerns recognizing the triggers for anger as early as possible and expressing these feelings and frustrations in a cool, calm and collected way.

We often have learnt-behaviors as to how to deal with strong emotions, so anger management is about unlearning ineffective coping mechanisms and re-learning more positive ways to deal with the problems and frustrations associated with anger.

There are many anger management techniques that you can learn and practice by yourself or teach to others. However if you, or someone you know, experiences a lot of regular anger or very strong anger (rage) then seeking help, usually in the form of a counselor, can be more effective.

You should seek professional help if anger is having a long-term negative impact on your relationships, is making you unhappy, or is resulting in any dangerous or violent behavior.

Anger Management: Self-Help Techniques

It is important to recognize when you feel angry or experience feelings that may lead to anger.

You should not try to suppress your anger but instead try to understand it and act in a positive way to alleviate negative aspects of your anger.

Take Regular Exercise and Keep Fit

The hormones that we release when we are angry - mainly cortisol and adrenaline - are similar to those produced when we are stressed to help us to escape from danger. The release of these hormones is an evolutionary trait, useful if you are trying to run away from a mammoth but maybe less important in modern life where, for most of us, such life-threatening situations do not occur regularly.

When you exercise regularly your body learns how to regulate your adrenaline and cortisol levels more effectively. People who are physically fit have more optimum levels of endorphins; endorphins are hormones that make you feel good and therefore less likely to feel angry.

Sleep

Sleep is an important part of life and good quality sleep can help combat many physical, mental and emotional problems, including anger.

When we sleep, the body and mind rest and rebuild damaged cells and neural pathways. We all know that people often feel better after a good night’s sleep. The optimum level of good quality sleep is about 7 hours a night, however everybody is different and you may need more or less than this.

Plan ‘Difficult’ Conversations

If you are worried about having a conversation that may leave you feeling angry then try to take control of the situation. Make notes beforehand, planning what you want to say in a calm and assertive way. You are less likely to get side-tracked during your conversation if you can refer to your notes.

Solutions Are More Important Than Problems

It can be helpful to identify what made you angry in the first place. However, it is more important to focus on a way to resolve problems so that they don’t arise again in the future.

Express Yourself

Wait until you have calmed down from your anger and then express yourself in a calm and collected way. You need to be assertive without being aggressive.

Don't Hold Grudges

We all need to accept that everybody is different and that we cannot control the feelings, beliefs or behaviours of others.

Try to be realistic and accept that people are the way they are, not how we would like them to be. Being resentful or holding a grudge against somebody will increase your anger and make it more difficult to control. You cannot change how other people behave or think but you can change how you deal with others but working on a positive attitude.

Pick Your Time

Avoid conversations that may make you angry when you are feeling tired, distracted or stressed. We are more likely to feel and behave in an angry way when there are other worries on our minds.

Humour

It is easy to use inappropriate sarcasm when angry; resist the temptation to do this and instead work on introducing some good humour into potentially difficult conversations. If you can introduce some humour then resentment will be reduced and your mood lifted.

The simple act of laughing can go along way to reduce anger, especially over the longer term.

Breathe Slowly and Relax

Try to reverse the physical symptoms of anger by practising some simple breathing exercises.

Breathing exercises can help you to relax and slow your heart rate to more normal levels.

When you start to feel tense and angry, try to isolate yourself for 15 minutes and concentrate on relaxing and calm, steady breathing:

Inhale and exhale deeply 3 or 4 times in a row.
Count slowly to four as you inhale.
Count slowly to eight as you exhale.
Focus on feeling the air move in and out of your lungs.
Concentrate and feel your ribs slowly rise and fall as you repeat the exercise.

Stop and revert to normal breathing if you start to feel dizzy at any time.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Speak to Boss and convince him that we need to start a new business

DAY 19

SKILL CAPSULE: PARTY ETIQUETTE

A guest's good manners (or party etiquette) includes knowing how to start a conversation — and how to participate in one. Knowing how to mingle with people at a party or other social function is the mark of a gracious guest who's always invited back. Understanding the basic principles of party etiquette can help you socialize better at any gathering, whether the social occasion is a dinner party or an office event.

A good conversationalist knows how to be patient and not interrupt; be a good listener. And you need to think about what someone is asking and respond appropriately, just as you need to think about what you want to say and say it clearly.

Not everyone is a social butterfly by nature, but don't shy away from conversation just because this form of communication isn't innate. With the following party etiquette tips and a dose of confidence, you can be mixing and mingling in no time:

· Think about other people and care about them. If you're shy or quiet, learn how to open up to others and not always wait for them to draw you into a conversation. If you're an extrovert and extremely outgoing, you may need to rein in your enthusiasm and let other people have the floor.

· Act as if you're a host, not a guest. Reach out to people standing by themselves, the white-knuckle drinkers, or those that look obviously uncomfortable. Introduce people to each other. Be helpful, kind, and genuine. Don't be afraid to approach people. Strangers are merely friends you haven't met yet. If you focus on the other person's comfort, you can lose your own self-consciousness.

· Be pleasant, cheerful, and upbeat when mingling, no matter what your mood. If you've had a bad day, don't rain on anyone else's parade by talking about your negative experience — unless, of course, you want to be left standing alone. And when ending a conversation, say that you enjoyed talking with the person or that it was a pleasure meeting her.

· Listen more than you talk. You have two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion. Nothing is more flattering than someone who listens carefully and shows sincere interest in other people.

· Know how to gracefully end conversations. It is perfectly fine to simply say, "Excuse me, it has been nice meeting you" or "I've enjoyed our conversation." Then visibly move to some other part of the room.

· Avoid making negative comments on the room, the food, the guests or your host. In any social situation, making negative comments, especially when you're a guest in someone's home, is rude. You never know if another guest can overhear your comments. And, quite often, the person holding the party delegates the actual planning and details to someone else, and you could be speaking with someone that helped with the event.

Basic party etiquette for guests insists that you be mindful of the host or other party planner's feelings.

· To engage a stranger into a conversation, find a shared interest. Some common topics of interest include: travel, children or pets (if you both have them), hobbies, current news topics (preferably nothing controversial), sports, careers, films, and books.

· Avoid any type of talk regarding physical injuries, sickness, accidents, or off-color language or jokes. Also, commenting on the host's home, décor, or food; spreading offensive gossip; or bringing up controversial subjects that could make others uncomfortable or angry is a bad idea.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Debate Prepared

DAY 20

SKILL CAPSULE: EMPATHY

Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key element of Emotional Intelligence, the link between self and others, because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves.

Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be considered ‘feeling for’ someone. Empathy, instead, is ‘feeling with’ that person, through the use of imagination.

Some Definitions of Empathy

Empathy n. the power of entering into another’s personality and imaginatively experiencing his experiences.

Chambers English Dictionary, 1989 edition

"[Empathy is] awareness of others’ feelings, needs and concerns."

Daniel Goleman, in Working with Emotional Intelligence

"I call him religious who understands the suffering of others."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on, intellectually."

Tim Minchin

Daniel Goleman, author of the book Emotional Intelligence, says that empathy is basically the ability to understand others’ emotions. He also, however, notes that at a deeper level, it is about defining, understanding, and reacting to the concerns and needs that underlie others’ emotional responses and reactions.

As Tim Minchin noted, empathy is a skill that can be developed and, as with most interpersonal skills, empathising (at some level) comes naturally to most people.

Elements of Empathy

Daniel Goleman identified five key elements of empathy.

Understanding Others
Developing Others
Having a Service Orientation
Leveraging Diversity
Political Awareness

1. Understanding Others

This is perhaps what most people understand by ‘empathy’: in Goleman’s words, “sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns”. Those who do this:

· Tune into emotional cues. They listen well, and also pay attention to non-verbal communication, picking up subtle cues almost subconsciously.

Show sensitivity, and understand others’ perspectives.

Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. - American Indian proverb

Are able to help other people based on their understanding of those people’s needs and feelings.

All these are skills which can be developed, but only if you wish to do so. Some people may switch off their emotional antennae to avoid being swamped by the feelings of others.

For example, there have been a number of scandals in the National Health Service in the UK where nurses and doctors have been accused of not caring about patients. It may be that they were so over-exposed to patients’ needs, without suitable support, that they shut themselves off, for fear of being unable to cope.

2. Developing Others

Developing others means acting on their needs and concerns, and helping them to develop to their full potential. People with skills in this area usually:

Reward and praise people for their strengths and accomplishments, and provide constructive feedback designed to focus on how to improve.
Provide mentoring and coaching to help others to develop to their full potential.
Provide stretching assignments that will help their teams to develop

1. Having a Service Orientation

Primarily aimed at work situations, having a service orientation means putting the needs of customers first and looking for ways to improve their satisfaction and loyalty.

People who have this approach will ‘go the extra mile’ for customers. They will genuinely understand customers’ needs, and go out of their way to help meet them.

In this way, they can become a ‘trusted advisor’ to customers, developing a long-term relationship between customer and organisation. This can happen in any industry, and any situation.

There are many non-work situations which require us to help others in some way, where putting their needs centre-stage may enable us to see the situation differently and perhaps offer more useful support and assistance.

2. Leveraging Diversity

Leveraging diversity means being able to create and develop opportunities through different kinds of people, recognizing and celebrating that we all bring something different to the table.

Leveraging diversity does not mean that you treat everyone in exactly the same way, but that you tailor the way you interact with others to fit with their needs and feelings.

People with this skill respect and relate well to everyone, regardless of their background. As a general rule, they see diversity as an opportunity, understanding that diverse teams work much better than teams that are more homogenous.

People who are good at leveraging diversity also challenge intolerance, bias and stereotyping when they see it, creating an atmosphere that is respectful towards everyone.

5. Political Awareness

Many people view ‘political’ skills as manipulative, but in its best sense, ‘political’ means sensing and responding to a group’s emotional undercurrents and power relationships.

Political awareness can help individuals to navigate organizational relationships effectively, allowing them to achieve where others may previously have failed.

Empathy, Sympathy and Compassion

There is an important distinction between empathy, sympathy and compassion.

Both compassion and sympathy are about feeling for someone: seeing their distress and realizing that they are suffering. Compassion has taken on an element of action that is lacking in sympathy, but the root of the words is the same.

Empathy, by contrast, is about experiencing those feelings for yourself, as if you were that person, through the power of imagination.

Three Types of Empathy

Psychologists have identified three types of empathy: cognitive empathy, emotional empathy and compassionate empathy.

Cognitive empathy is understanding someone’s thoughts and emotions, in a very rational, rather than emotional sense.
Emotional empathy is also known as emotional contagion, and is ‘catching’ someone else’s feelings, so that you literally feel them too.
Compassionate empathy is understanding someone’s feelings, and taking appropriate action to help.

Towards Empathy

It may not always be easy, or even possible, to empathize with others but, through good people skills and some imagination, we can work towards more empathetic feelings.

Research has suggested that individuals who can empathize enjoy better relationships with others and greater well-being through life.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Group Discussions

DAY 21

SKILL CAPSULE: BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE

The Power of Thought

· All behavior begins and ends as thoughts

· Bad thoughts vs. Good thoughts

· Think-Feel-Act model

Importance of Thoughts

· Thoughts are unavoidable

· Our thoughts influence our actions

· Self-fulfilling prophecy

How thoughts works for you

· Imagine of a time in the pass where you felt anxiety.

§ What was the situation?

§ What did it feel like?

§ What lead up to this feeling?

§ What was the outcome?

· Let’s look at this closer to see what was happening in the situation and how you could of changed the thought that lead to the feelings that lead to the action that let to the…

Decoding Self-Confidence

· The belief in oneself

· A self-confident person thinks that he or she can reach a goal or cope with a that situation

· What happens when confidence is lost?

Learned Helplessness

· Identified by Psychologist Martin Seligman

· The tendency for humans and animals alike to become helpless at things they can not change

· Illustration: Poor dog

So people that are self-confident think and act differently?!

· While our thoughts affect our confidence, our behaviors foster it!

· Nothing creates the belief that something can be done like actually doing that something!

· Nothing succeeds like Success!

Four Techniques for Building Self-Confidence

1) Regulate your emotional level

§ Being aware of our feelings helps us recognize what we are thinking

§ Reduce the drive to avoid your goal

§ Block the fear producer from your awareness

§ Use relaxation techniques

2) Seek Affirmation

§ What does Stewart Smally say?

§ Works just as well in an academic setting

§ Encouragement

3) Pick the Right Models

§ Are women on the cover of Vogue the best way to judge your own body?

§ Pick ones who are similar to yourself-ones who don’t have an army at there disposal to get them looking the way they do.

§ Maybe even choose a student in class who you know succeeds and watch how they do it

4) Just Do It

§ What better way is there to convince yourself of your own capability to cope or perform successfully than trying it and having a successful experience!

§ Reasonable risk

§ Bite-Size pieces

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Conduct Brain Storming Sessions

DAY 22

SKILL CAPSULE: TEAM SPIRIT

It has a range of individuals who contribute in different ways and complement each other. A team made up just of planners would find it difficult to cope with changing deadlines or plans whereas a team full of spontaneous individuals would be disorganized: you need both types. A good team produces more than the individual contributions of members.

Clear goals are agreed on that everyone understands and is committed to.

Everyone understands the tasks they have to do and helps each other.

It has a coordinator who may adopt a leadership style from autocratic to democratic depending on the circumstances. Different people may assume the role of leader for different tasks.

There is a balance between the task (what do we need to do?) and the process (how do we achieve this?)

There is a supportive, informal atmosphere where members feel able to take risks and say what they think.

The group is comfortable with disagreement and can successfully overcome differences in opinion.

Be Committed to the Common Goal Be Committed to the Common Goal

There is a lot of discussion in which everyone participates. Group members listen to each other and everyone's ideas are heard.

Members feel free to criticize and say what they think but this is done in a positive, constructive manner.

The group learns from experience: reviewing and improving performance in the light of both successes and failures.

Do not Compete with each other

Communicate Openly & Directly

Resolve Conflict Mutually & Openly

Empathize & Understand to be Understood

Support & Respect Individual Differences

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Negotiation Skills

DAY 23

SKILL CAPSULE: PERSONAL GROOMING

PERSONAL GROOMING & CLOTHING – WOMEN

· Makeup should be subtle-down to a minimum.

· Never wear contrasting undergarments under light tops as it will show

· Avoid Chunky, jangling jewelry, bangles, anklets or anything which creates sound.

· This also includes duppattas with bells etc on them.

· Your shirts collar, cuffs should be clean and there should be no missing buttons

· Keep your nails clean and polished.

· When choosing nail varnish color, choose colors which are light, neutral and closer to your skin color. Bright colors like red, green, blue, purple are absolutely a no-no.

· Ensure your breath is Fresh and clean. There should be no odor from the mouth. If you are prone to bad breath, consult a dentist and gargle with mouthwash frequently, especially after eating.

· Preferably use lipsticks in matt shades. Use a lip liner to outline our lips before you fill in your lips with lipstick. When outlining your lips, stick to the natural curves of your lips. The lip liner should be a shade darker or the same shade as the lipstick.

· Lipsticks shades to be worn at work should be light in color and not dark shades. The shades should be natural in color rather than bright and dark. Light pinks, light browns and skin tones are appropriate

· Pick the Right perfume: Ideally, perfume is never to be worn at work. What you can use however is cologne, body sprays/ mists, and deodorants etc.

· Whilst selecting cologne, opt for one that smells fresh and tingling, nothing to heavy in aroma. Steer clear from strong fruity or spicy smells for work.

· Use deodorant / Anti per spirant

· Wear long lasting make-up

· If you like wearing saris it is advisable to wear chiffon, georgette or cotton handloom ones during summer and pure silks in winter, they impart a sophisticated image

· Sari should be worn neatly in a professional style.

· Handloom saris need to be starched and ironed well otherwise they drape unflatteringly on your body with numerous unsightly creases.
Pin the sari well so that it does not fall

· Put the pin on the back shoulder as this keeps the sari intact and does not show the pin too.

· Don't wear a very flared petticoat inside.

· Have Small prints rather than large in saris. Plain and bordered saris are much better. Loud colors, double shaded saris should be avoided.

· No cut sleeves blouse, or plunging neck lines please.

· Traditional salwar kameez with dupatta can be worn.

· Do not match Indian and western clothes.

· Don’t let any straps, lingerie, lace show or any panty lines show from beneath your skirt or trousers.

· Always carry a clean hanky.
Never wear Loud shocking colors, clinging or short skirts, Trousers without a jacket and see through fabrics.

· A skirt worn should be no more than an inch high above your knee. Full- length ‘A’ line skirts also can be worn. With a short skirt, stockings are a must.

· If you have long hair, never keep it untied, pull it back from your face and tie it up in a French roll or a good old-fashioned bun at the nape of your neck.

· Hair should preferably be styled and cut to shoulder length, or shorter. It makes you look neat and professional. With a sari, a bun at the nape of the neck, is ideal.

· For business wear, shoe/boots/heel styles must be closed-toe and closed-heel .No strappy sandals or chappals please. Open toed shoes are acceptable if they have a business look. No sequin work, just plain simple leather footwear works best for sandals.

· Heel height should not be too high or low. 2 inch heel is ideal

· Nicked heels, scruffy toes, or unpolished footwear scream failure.

· Never wear golden, silver or sequined shoes to the office.

· Its always better, that your socks are of same color as the trousers as it gives a polished look as there is no break in vision

· Never wear white socks to office

· Dress for comfort and professional effect.

ACCESSORIES

· Pearls, white gold, silver and precious stones look very elegant in office than chunky gold jewelry.

· Bangles or ‘Kadha’s which do not jingle with Indian dresses and a fine bracelet with western dress can be worn to work.

· Earrings should not dangle below the ear lobe. No more than an inch in length is acceptable.

· Nose pins and studs are acceptable. Nose rings are unprofessional.

· All tattoos must be covered while at work.

· Always wear sheer socks/ stockings with shoes under skirts. No bare skin should show.

· Match the color of your purse and shoes

· Have good quality accessories like a folder, briefcase, handbag, watch, mobile, mobile cover, Key chain

PERSONAL GROOMING & CLOTHING – MEN

· Shaving daily is a must. If you want to keep a moustache or beard, it should be neat and well trimmed.

· Trim hair which may frequently peep out from your nose and ears.

· Keep your hair way above your collar and keep side burns trimmed and short.

· Your hairstyle should reflect your personality and should be kept groomed and, of course, clean at all times.

· Keep nails short and clean, as your hands are seen while communicating.

· When it comes to wearing a fragrance, always remember… a little dab is just enough.
Use deodorant / Anti per spirant

· Opt for one that smells fresh and tingly, nothing to heavy in aroma. Steer clear from strong fruity or spicy smells for work.

· Darker suits carry more authority; the most powerful colors are dark blue, grey and black.

· Solid colors and pinstripes are best, as long as pinstripes are muted and narrow.
Safari suits are not formal.

· The shirt should be light colored, either plain or with horizontal or vertical stripes in light shades

· Loud and big checks and Prints of any kind are to be avoided.

· A long-sleeved shirt should always be buttoned at the cuffs and never rolled up.
White, off white, blue, cream, beige, baby pink, pale n light yellow are the best office colors.

· Always wear an ironed shirt, even if the shirt claims to be "wash and wear."
When wearing long-sleeved shirts, cuffs should extend a quarter inch below suit sleeve.

· Cotton/polyester blends are acceptable. The higher the cotton content, the better you'll look.

· The legs of the trousers must not be so long as to fall in folds over the shoe.

· Trousers should be short enough to look neat and long enough to cover the bare skin above the socks when they are hitched up in a sitting posture

· A printed, striped or checked shirt ought to be worn with plain trouser
If the trousers are striped or checked, the shirt should be plain.

· If the trousers are of dark color then the shirt should be of complimentary light color. e.g. a light blue shirt with dark blue trousers.

· When wearing a shirt without a tie, only the two collar buttons may be left undone
Your tie should compliment and add color to your suit.

· Width should be approximately the same as lapels, generally 2 ¾-3 ½ inches wide.
Linen wrinkles too easily. satin ties are too flashy , but 100 percent silk ties make the most powerful and professional impact and are also the easiest to tie.

· Front end of the tie should touch the tip of the belt and back end tucked in well.
Avoid ties with cartoons, huge flowers etc.

· Black and brown leather are the best colors.

· Black/brown lace up shoes, cap toe, and wingtips are the most conservative.

· Shoes should be well polished and in good condition.

· Socks should complement the suit.

· They should not bunch around your ankles.

· They should be long enough that skin is not seen when legs are crossed.

· Its always better, that your socks are of same color as the trousers as it gives a polished look as there is no break in vision

· White socks and sports socks are a big no-no.

ACCESSORIES

· Jewelry should be very simple and conservative. Nothing more than a wedding band, and a single, very fine gold chain is acceptable.

· Briefcases should be leather; brown and black are the best colors.

· Watches should be simple and plain. Avoid leather, metal straps are the best.

· Belts should be leather and should match or complement shoes (blue/black/gray suit = black belt and shoes; brown/tan/beige suit = brown belt and shoes). The buckle should be simple and sober.

· Tie pins and cuff links add to your professional demeanor, so use them.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Bullying a subordinate

DAY 24

SKILL CAPSULE: LEADERSHIP SKILLS

The ability to lead effectively is based on a number of key skills. These skills are highly sought after by employers as they involve dealing with people in such a way as to motivate, enthuse and build respect.

Leadership roles are all around us, not just in a work environment.

They can be applied to any situation where you are required to take the lead, professionally, socially and at home in family settings. Ideally, leaders become leaders because they have credibility, and because people want to follow them.

Two questions which are often asked are:

o What exactly is a leader? and

o How is being a leader different from being a manager?

Many people also wonder if leadership can really be taught. People with vested interests (academics and those offering leadership training or literature of some sort) are convinced that it can. Many successful leaders, however, have never had any formal training. For them leadership is a state of mind, and it is their personalities and traits that make them successful leaders.

One of the most important aspects of leadership is that not every leader is the same. Of course we have all heard jokes about ‘mushroom’ leadership (keep them in the dark and feed them on manure) and ‘seagulls’ (swoop in, squawk, and drop unpleasant things on people), but joking aside, there are many different styles of leadership.

Different leadership styles are appropriate for different people and different circumstances, and the best leaders learn to use them all.

You can of course learn about effective leadership skills and practices but being able to implement them yourself may require an altogether different set of skills and attitudes. The question “Can leadership be taught?” has no simple answer and we do not want to argue for one side or the other, but rather keep an open mind on the subject and provide information about the skills good leaders need.

Perhaps the most important skill a leader needs is to be able to think strategically. Leadership is all about having a vision of where you want to be and working to achieve that vision.

Characteristics of a leader

· Leaders are Inspirational

· Leaders develop/celebrate their people

· Leaders take personal responsibility for the results

o APR - absolute personal responsibility

· Lead by example

· Leaders keep asking the right questions

· Leaders know their roles but work at contributing

· Leadership is about social responsibility

How to be a leader in the corporate scenario

· Everyone needs to think like a leader

o Small daily acts of greatness

o Run to what you are resisting and embrace change as you grow

o Stay hungry. Nothing fails like success

· Business is about relationships with

o External customers

o Internal customers

· Be a leader thru personal leadership; concentrate on

o Being an excellent human being

o Your health

o Goal

o Values

· Leave a legacy - making a difference

o Live your life in such a way that when you die the undertaker has tears in his eyes. -- Mark Twain

· Build a culture

o Have conversations, make your employees part of the dream

· Create rituals

o daily morning huddle

o Welcome meeting, discussion on values

· Make them heroes

o You get what you celebrate

o Honor them when they uphold a value

· Use training as a tool to

o Create a creative workplace

· Hire spectacular people

o Spectacular people make a spectacular company

· Create a hungry culture

o Build

o Talk

o Celebrate

o Go that extra mile

4-tactics towards Personal Leadership

· Set a principal philosophy and precise goals

o Make time to think

o Leaders are more thoughtful than other people

o Time to strategize

o Time to plan

o Live your life as your own. Be yourself

· Do the most difficult thing first thing in the morning

o Build self-discipline

o Get up at 5:00 a.m.

o Finish what you start

o Keep self promises

o Keep a journal to capture

o Learning - risks you have taken

o Frustrations

o Hopes and dreams

o Ideas

o Build relationships:

o RANEF -

o Be real

o Be authentic

o Be nice

o Be ethical

o Be fun

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Happy Leader

DAY 25

SKILL CAPSULE: HOW TO BE POLITE

Being polite means being aware of and respecting the feelings of other people. We may not always notice politeness but we usually notice rudeness or inconsiderate behaviour.

This page takes a step back and covers some of the fundamentals of building and maintaining relationships with others. We provide examples of the most common behaviours that are considered polite.

Politeness can and will improve your relationships with others, help to build respect and rapport, boost your self-esteem and confidence, and improve your communication skills.

Many of the points raised on this page may seem obvious (in most cases they are common-sense) but all too often social manners are overlooked or forgotten. Take some time to read through the following points and think about how being polite and demonstrating good social etiquette can improve your relationships with others.

It is easy to recognise when people are rude or inconsiderate but often more difficult to recognise these traits in yourself. Think carefully about the impressions you leave on others and how you can easily avoid being considered ill-mannered or ignorant.

Politeness Guidelines

You can apply the following (where appropriate) to most interactions with others – friends, colleagues, family, customers, everybody!

Always use common sense and try to behave as appropriately as possible, taking into account any cultural differences.

· Say hello to people – greet people appropriately, gain eye contact and smile naturally, shake hands or hug where appropriate but say hello, especially to colleagues and other people you see every day. Be approachable. Do not blank people just because you’re having a bad day

· Take time to make some small talk - perhaps mention the weather or ask about the other person’s family or talk about something that is in the news. Make an effort to engage in light conversation, show some interest, but don’t overdo it. Remain friendly and positive and pick up on the verbal and non-verbal signals from the other person.

· Try to remember things about the other person and comment appropriately – use their spouse’s name, their birthday, any significant events that have occurred (or are about to occur) in their life. Always be mindful of others’ problems and difficult life events.

· Always use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Make sure you thank people for their input or contribution and always include ‘please’ when asking for something. If somebody offers you something use 'Yes please' or 'No thank you'.

· Praise and/or congratulate others on their achievements. Praise needs to be seen as genuine – this can be difficult if you feel jealous or angry.

· At work be polite and helpful to your subordinates as well as your bosses. Respect and acknowledge the positions, roles and duties of others.

· Use appropriate language – be respectful of gender, race, religion, political viewpoints and other potentially controversial or difficult subjects. Do not make derogatory or potentially inflammatory comments.

· Learn to listen attentively - pay attention to others while they speak – do not get distracted mid-conversation and do not interrupt.

· Respect other people's time. Try to be precise and to-the-point in explanations without appearing to be rushed.

· Be assertive when necessary but respect the right of others to be assertive too.

· Avoid gossip. Try to have positive things to say about other people.

· Apologize for your mistakes. If you say or do something that may be considered rude or embarrassing then apologize, but don’t overdo your apologies.

· Avoid jargon and vocabulary that may be difficult for others to understand – explain complex ideas or instructions carefully. Do not appear arrogant.

· Respect, and be prepared to listen to, the ideas and opinions of others.

· Dress appropriately for the situation. Avoid wearing revealing clothing in public and avoid staring at others who are wearing revealing clothing. Avoid being dressed too casually for the situation.

· Use humour carefully. Aim not to cause any offence and know the boundaries of appropriate language for different situations.

· Practise good personal hygiene. Wash and brush your teeth regularly, change your clothes and use deodorant. Avoid strong perfumes, after-shaves or colognes.

· Be punctual. If you have arranged to meet somebody at a certain time make sure you are on time, or even a few minutes early. If you are going to be late let the other person/people know as far in advance as you can. Do not rely on feeble or exaggerated excuses to explain lateness. Respect other people’s time and don’t waste it.

· Always practise good table manners. When eating around others avoid foods with strong odours, do not talk with your mouth full or chew with your mouth open, and eat quietly.

· Do not pick your nose or ears, chew on your fingers or bite your fingernails in public. Also avoid playing excessively with your hair.

Good manners cost nothing but can make a big difference to how other people feel about you, or the organisation you are representing. When you’re polite and show good manners others are more likely to be polite and courteous in return.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Suddenly Losing Temper

DAY 26

SKILL CAPSULE: FACING CRITICISM AT WORK

Criticism at work can affect every part of your life, adding stress during work hours and invading your thoughts outside the office. If you don't handle it well, negative feedback from your superiors and colleagues can ultimately derail your career.

You can't prevent being criticized, but controlling your own reaction can turn a negative situation into a positive one, says Alison Green, "People too often take criticism as a personal attack, or as a signal that all the things they've done right aren't being appreciated," Green explains. Not all criticism is bad, and sometimes it can provide feedback that's valuable to your success.

Here are six tips for dealing with criticism at work:

Take time to really listen

If a colleague or higher-up has something negative to say, don't disregard their comments even if you don't have a high opinion of the person. Instead of shutting down, stay objective about what he or she is saying (just as you would in any other situation).

"Be genuinely open to hearing what the other person is saying and try not to interrupt or jump to conclusions," says Curtis Odom, principal of Prescient Talent Strategist, a Boston-based talent management firm. Odom suggests using active listening techniques throughout the conversation like paraphrasing what you're hearing in your own words and making eye contact to show you're actively engaged.

Ask questions

Even the slightest bit of negative criticism is easy to misinterpret.

Be prepared to ask follow-up questions during the conversation in order to prevent a bigger misunderstanding down the road. Asking questions not only shows that you're eager to figure out a solution, but the colleague's responses can help you gauge whether the negative feedback is relevant.

"Ask for specific examples and instances of the types of behavior that are at the root of the feedback," says Odom. "If the atmosphere is becoming tense, introduce a more positive approach by asking for examples of the behavior your reviewer would like to see more of."

Don't get defensive

Whether at work or at home, it's easy to get defensive when being criticized. Fight the urge and give your boss or co-worker a fair chance to express his or her thoughts. "The person giving you the feedback might have a reasonable point, which you'll never pick up on if you're busy thinking about how to defend yourself," says Green.

Stay calm

Don't loose your cool, especially in a professional setting. "Being calm and rational is essential," says Caroline Dowd-Higgins, director career and professional development at the Indiana University Maurer School of Law. Save your anger for discussing the incident outside of work.

Think about whether it's the feedback or how it was given that's making you angry. Most of the time it's how the negative feedback was delivered rather than the content that people find offensive, explains Dowd-Higgins. "If feedback is presented in a constructive environment, criticism can be more easily digested," she says.

Determine if it's accurate

Even if the criticism was conveyed in a startling way, there might be some truth to what your boss or colleague is saying. "Don't brush it off," says Green.

"Responding with a brusque 'okay' and nothing more makes it look like you're just interested in ending the conversation," Green says. Instead, take a step back to assess the situation. Speak to mentors, family members or others in your office to help you understand whether the criticism is valid.

Address the problem

No matter who's at fault, it's important to address the problem, whether it's changing your own actions, acknowledging a misunderstanding or looking for others to change their ways.

If the negative feedback is coming from your boss, accepting the feedback can help you improve in the future

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Threatening with job or termination

DAY 27

SKILL CAPSULE: EVENT MANAGEMENT: HOW TO ORGANIZE A CULTURAL PROGRAM

1. Plan and coordinate

Planning and coordination lays the foundation for a successful event. You need to consider what, who, why, where and when aspects of the event. While planning, set realistic expectations but also list down experimental aims. To start with,

Make a good team with differently skilled members for making agendas and preparing schedules
Understand your client’s expectation and identify the target audience
Analyze the cost and prepare a budget
Prepare an invitation and list down the programs in the event
Prepare a deadline for each activity
Collaborate consistently to ensure timely actions

2. Start the action

This is the time when you will have to divide your enthusiasm in too many ideas. This is a critical stage of the event where you confirm key things like the date, venue and the speaker. During this stage,

Get approval for the budget
Start social media marketing campaign on sites like Twitter, Facebook, etc.
Market the event by informing media, preparing brochure, sending mails, etc.
Keep your attendees engaged during the event (by posting event updates on social media)
Collaborate with the team to ensure that the plans are on track
Plan travel and transportation arrangements
Seek special permits from the local governing bodies

3. Stay active 24-36 hours before the event

If you utilize this time effectively, your event will be a success. Measure the execution of your plans, collaborate with all the stakeholders, sponsors, speakers, guests and your team members. Get final approvals from the vendor of catering, fireworks, decoration, etc. Before 24-36 hours,

Create the list of guests who responded with RSVP
Make a list of table accessories like pen, notepad, brochure, bottle of water, etc.
Ensure all activities are running on time including transportation arrangements
Remind VIPs about the event, and have volunteers to guide them to the event
Confirm venue arrangements like lights, decorations, volunteers, security, etc.
Prepare a minute-by-minute plan for the event

4. How to manage the final day?

After all the hard work, you are anxiously waiting for the event to start. This is the time to ensure that all things are there and working as planned. Don’t assume; take control of things. On the day of the event,

Arrive at the event’s location with volunteers and team members hours before the event time
Check whether all the electronic equipment are working properly (microphones, lights, speakers, etc.)
Setup a beautiful reception and helpdesk
Allocate space for sponsors to place their banners
Ensure that the host/anchor has details of the VIPs to avoid any blunder
Hire a dedicated photographer to capture special moments, sponsor banners and key people
Confirm stock of food, water, flowers, etc.

5. Learn from the event

The event is over, you received appreciation for your efforts, but you thing there is a lot of scope for improvement. Thus after the event, you should collect meaningful information from the participants. Send feedback forms, gather feedback, understand participants’ reactions, gauge expectations and measure the impact of your event. This will help you get valuable insights for nourishing your managerial skills and shaping the future events based on the received feedback.

In conclusion I would say,

Event management is one such profession where failure has no hiding place. No matter what confidence or managerial arsenal you bring on board for the event, loopholes in any of the above mentioned stages will land you in an embarrassing situation. To avoid blunders, you can take assistance from event management and registration softwares. So consider these tips and avoid any uncertainties during the event.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Organizing a seminar

DAY 28

SKILL CAPSULE: WORKING IN GROUPS AND TEAMS

Being in groups is part of everyday life and many of us will belong to a wide range of groups, for example: family groups, social groups, sports groups, committees, etc.

This page concentrates on groups that have been specially formed to fulfil some purpose, or groups that are a drawing together of people with shared experience. This type of group is often also referred to as a team.

What are Groups and Teams?

There is some confusion about the difference between a group and a team; traditionally academics, communication and management theorists use the terms: group, group-working, group-interaction, group-structure etc. to refer to the dynamics of people working together towards a common cause.

The word group however has a broader meaning – a group of passengers on a flight have a common characteristic – to travel, but they are not necessarily working towards a common cause. Groups do not even need to refer to people, for example, a group of products in a supermarket, in this case the group is arbitrary and could be defined by any number of variables.

A team is generally more specific. We would not refer to our airline passengers as a team, unless they crashed on a desert island and needed to work together to survive. The distinction is that a team is working together for a common cause. A group of schoolchildren may be in the same class, whereas a team of schoolchildren may be working together on a specific project within the class.

When we talk about groups and teams we use the terms interchangeably – it is possible to have a group without a team but not a team without a group. Although we use the word team throughout our pages we use the following definition of group:

§ A group is a collection of people with some common characteristics or purpose.

§ A group can consist of any number of people.

§ People in groups interact, engage and identify with each other, often at regular or pre-determined times and places.

§ The group members share beliefs, principles, and standards about areas of common interest and they come together to work on common tasks for agreed purposes and outcomes.

§ People in groups are defined by themselves and by others as group members, in other words individuals are aware that they are part of a group.

§ Important Defining Features of Groups:

§ People who can identify with each other. Sharing ideas, beliefs and/or experience of common areas.

§ People who frequently and regularly engage with each other, agreeing on a purpose and working together on shared tasks.

§ People who recognise themselves and are recognised by others as part of a group.

Types of Groups

Groups may be formal, brought together for a particular purpose, or they may be informal such as family groups, groups of friends or colleagues. You may come into contact or work with a range of different groups.

These types of group may include:

§ Work Groups: Either formal, such as teams, committees or training groups, or informal maybe setup to tackle an ad-hoc problem.

§ Neighbourhood Groups: An example of a neighbourhood group would be one established to develop local amenities.

§ Social Groups | Special Interest groups: These are groups established to meet the needs of a particular sector (e.g. age group, gender) or interests (e.g. music or sports). Examples include Women’s Institute and Scouts.

§ Self-Help Groups: Such groups are often established to work through particular emotions or to provide support for people with a certain illness, e.g. helping to overcome an addiction such as Alcoholics Anonymous.

§ Inter-Agency Groups: These are developed between agencies/organisations that work in related fields to improve product and/or client services. In addition, they aid communication and establish joint ventures to prevent duplication and confusion.

§ Pressure Groups: The function of pressure groups is to challenge the status quo, often by using high profile tactics to gain media attention to achieve their aims.

§ Task-Based and Experience-Based Groups

§ Groups can also be sub-divided in two ways:

o Groups established to carry out specific tasks are known as task-based groups, such as a pressure groups.

o Groups which are based on the experiences of their members are known as experience-based groups, such as a self-help group.

§ The distinction between task-based groups and experience-based groups is important because it affects how the group is formed, organised, led and what roles the individual group members play.

§ Task-Based or Content Groups

These types of group focus on the achievement of specific goals and the individual members of the group work towards completing these goals. These types of group are common in organisations and include groups set up to work on specific projects – perhaps the design of a new product.

§ Experience-Based or Process Groups

These types of group focus on the individual group members and how they interact, support and grow together, an example would be a group established to support people suffering from stress.

§ Group Communication. When people are part of a group they interact and communicate in different ways to how they would on a one-to-one basis.

These differences include:

The Individual Member within a Group

Through networking within a group people come to a greater understanding about other group members and the wider environment – seeing things from other people’s point of view. Also, within a group situation, people often learn about who they are and their strengths and weaknesses through comparison with other group members.

Groups are important to personal development as they can provide support and encouragement to help individuals to make changes in behaviour and attitude. Some groups also provide a setting to explore and discuss personal issues. A group setting can allow people to become more confident and learn new interpersonal, social and practical skills through observation as well as practice.

These skills can be developed within a group setting and then effectively used in individual situations. As group membership can improve self-esteem and confidence so it can also improve self-motivation and the desire to learn and develop.

The Group as a Whole

From the experience of belonging to different groups, it quickly becomes obvious that groups are often made up of individuals with very different personalities, attitudes and ideas. For a group to function well a bond needs to be developed so that individual differences can be used for the wider interests of the group. ‘Cohesiveness’ is the term used to describe this mutual bonding between members, with each having a strong sense of belonging to the group.

Cohesiveness is, in part, the measure of the success of the group. A group with more cohesiveness is more likely to keep its members than that of a group with little cohesiveness. Members of a high-cohesive group are likely to talk in group terms, using 'we' instead of 'I' when talking about group activities. The more cohesive a group the greater the sense of team spirit and the more individual members will cooperate with each other. A low-cohesive group may find that members frequently miss meetings; sub-groups or cliques may form within the original group and there is likely to be an underlying sense of frustration as the goals of the group are less likely to be attained.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Introducing a Speaker

DAY 29

SKILL CAPSULE: 5 INTERVIEW TIPS

1. What are you looking for?
Interviewing is just like playing darts. The interviewer's screening criteria is the target and each dimension of your talent is represented by a dart. At the start of the interview you must find the target and decide which 3 "experience darts" to present. "What skills do you feel are required to be successful in this position?" is an effective question for you to ask at the start ("opening phase") of the interview.

2. Ask Questions:
It is your responsibility to make sure the interview is an interview and not an interrogation. You do this by asking questions throughout the interview.

3 . Specific Examples:
Interviewers ask questions about your past experience to predict your future performance. In response to their questions provide specific examples of your work and life experience. Focus on the actions you took and the results achieved. Interviewers are less interested in what "the team did" or what you were "responsible for".

4. How do you like me so far?
At the conclusion of each interview ask the interviewer for their opinion of your background. Ask them what t they feel your strengths are and what concerns they have about your ability. Interviewers form opinions based on a 45 minute interview. The potential for misunderstanding is enormous. Ask a couple questions at the end to make sure they understand your e xperience accurately.

5. Visual Aids:
Bring visual aids whenever applicable to convey the quality of your work. You can even prepare a few PowerPoint slides or one page document to communicate the quality of your work. Visual aids can include anything that you feel conveys what you have done and what you can do.

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Addressing Your Department for the First Time

DAY 30

SKILL CAPSULE: HOW TO ASSESS TEAMS AND TEAM WORK

· Give an example of a successful project, your role& why it succeeded?

· Describe two situations from your past work experience in which you have determined a team was the best potential solution to a problem, a needed process improvement, or a planned change. How did each work out?

· What actions and support, in your experience, make a team successful?

· Give me an example of a time when your work group or department worked especially well with another work group or department to accomplish a goal.

· Have you been a member of a team that struggled or failed to accomplish its goal? If so, what assessment did you make of the reasons for the failure

COMMUNICATION EXERCISE: Giving a farewell speech

Grooming Capsule - 30 Day Wonder (Day 16 to Day 30)